Franklin International Institute, Inc. "Gaining Control: The Franklin Reality Model" (Video). I am sorry to say that this outstanding video has been inexplicably withdrawn. Mr. Smith has spun it off into a separate business, The Galileo Initiative, and currently has 2-CD audio version of this talk available for purchase as well as a CD-rom that teaches this excellent behavior model. For more information please visit: www.galileoinitiative.com, which contains a nice demonstration of the teaching modules The story alluded to in my review below is told in one of his books.

I accidentally stumbled across a video presentation of Hyrum Smith, Chairman of the Board of Franklin International (The Franklin Planner people), and was absolutely fascinated with the behavior model he was presenting for increasing communication, dealing with conflict, and inspiring personal growth. I purchased one and have used it for follow-up to our organizational internal quality education. The response has been overwhelming, and at least a dozen people have ordered their own copies. People still stop me in the hallway and say how they've used "the model" both at work and at home and that it works! On the video, Mr. Smith, a dynamic and engaging speaker, has each participant make out a single sheet of paper during the course of his two-hour presentation. He states that the piece of paper will change one's life -- and he's right. His goal is to have people take healthy control of their lives so as to obtain a sense of inner peace.

What is The Reality Model? It is a simple model of human behavior quite similar to the theories of William Glasser, originator of Reality Therapy. By starting with humans' four basic needs: To Live (Survival), To Love and Be Loved, To Feel Important, and Variety, he shows how all one's behaviors relate to somehow getting these needs met.

These behaviors eventually become a pattern to create a series of beliefs one has placed on his or her belief window -- an imaginary pane of glass in front of one's face that acts as the filter for processing all events by unconsciously relating it to one of the four needs. These beliefs, which could also be considered one's values, are molded by an individual's unique life experiences. Thus, a belief window contains one's belief system, which consists of all the principles by which one judges situations thus triggering the rules by which one lives, resulting in predictable behavior patterns.

If the four needs are in a healthy balance, one has a sense of appropriate control in one's life. However, when the balance of needs gets out of balance, one develops what he calls addictive behaviors, which are behaviors with short-term benefit, but long-term destruction. Immediately, it benefits the person; but, because of the resulting effect the inappropriate behavior has on the people and environment, it will compromise one's long term success. Good examples are consistent avoidance of conflict with the same person or group (fear of survival), always giving in to rude coworkers (fear of not being loved), over-control of workers (excessive need to feel important), or brazen resistance to authority (not feeling important or loved). In medicine, doctors have fierce resistance to medical guidelines and call them cookbook medicine (threat to variety, feeling important, and survival).

He then puts the model in the perspective of seven natural laws that help to heal our addictions and make us choose to take the steps to personal growth. One must be aware of all seven laws because the process of growth depends on their synergy. Smith's point is that all people are good and that we sometimes have trouble separating the person from the behavior. If we can maintain the self-worth of the person and point out the behavioral incongruency, i.e., "this behavior will not meet your needs over time," the odds are much higher that the person will CHOOSE to grow. Two of the laws that he has us asterisk are, "Addictive behavior is the result of deep and unmet needs" and "If your self-worth is dependent on anything external, you are in big trouble."

He also gives a five-step process to follow when dealing with a problem relationship that names the behavior and "lets reality be the disciplining agent." It depersonalizes the issue and makes it a choice for the person being confronted as to whether they want the relationship to be better or worse -- and the resulting consequences.

The video is in four sections that develop the model, the seven natural laws, the five-step process, and demonstrate the "window" concept via four vignettes allowing for discussion. In the second section, he tells a riveting story about his work in drug prevention through an experience with 50 hard-core teenagers where he was bound and determined to teach them "the model" -- with surprising results.

With increased stress in the workplace due to the constant change, this model could be invaluable in decreasing tension due to the festering anger, conflict, and frustration that is ever present these days. The depersonalizing, non-threatening nature of it puts responsibility for resolving problems squarely where they belong. The consequences are clear and the person has a choice. It could help get the "victimhood" mentality that seems to be sweeping our society out of an organizational culture and aid in the growth of its people.